Take My Wife... PLEASE!

AutoWed is a novelty wedding machine offering a quick hitch, a couple of rings and a personalised certificate for just £1/$1. Audio prompts, specially produced music, a bespoke retro keyboard and VFD display, ring vending and ticket printer all wrapped up in a Cadillac-pink cabinet with shiny aluminium fittings. We came up with the idea last year and built the unit shown here this spring specially for Marvin's Marvellous Mechanical Museum in Detroit, USA (marvin3m.com). Order one now - call us and we will build you one to order.

I take the sanctity of marriage very serious. Just ask my wife Mrs. Grilled Cheese. She so cheesy sometimes it’s like stop it! But seriously… this marriage in a juke box is great. Now you can marry your BFF or your BFF’s BF or your BF’s BF.. The list is endless.

Just have a little self control and don’t end up like me. I’m now paying alimony to a George Forman grill and the entire cast of Saved by the Bell.

via ConceptShed



Photos via technabob

No F'N Thank You!!!

Something about this robot dude screams "disassemble me in my sleep(!)". Plus he looks like a total remote hog.. and I'm still pissed about what that one robot did to my plant.

So I’ll just make my own French toast, thanks. I have a family recipe anyway. It’s one part bourbon and two parts staying alive.

ps. None of these fears apply to my robot bartender.

Be the Talk of the Streets! Literally..

Bad hair day, ladies? Forgot to shave, fellas? Ugly?... oop I mean…

I think this is great and won’t make you look f'n ridiculous (ps. it totally will). But if you’re not a fan of heavy petting in public and prefer to keep it creepy then here ya go.

This shade is supposed to give you the privacy we all sooo long for. It also provides you with the mugging that you probably could have lived without...

Just do me a favor and stay outta the carpool lane with this thing on... or any lane for that matter.




pics via Coolest Gadgets

Want to hide your freakishly large ears?? Well keep looking...

I’m not really sure what they were trying to pull off here but can we all agree that it was a total slam dunk!

I’ve been trying to get my Nana to get big plug earrings (she already has the sideburns in real life). I think you can all guess what she’s getting for Christmas. Yep a palm pistol but maybe if she plays her cards right we’ll see about the phone cover too.

Just tell me where to pick this gem up… I’m all.. eerrr ears? (ugh I know I know).




Images via CollabCubed

Teach Them Well And Let Them... Loan Me 20 Bucks

The Japanese are helping you teach your kids how to be fiscally responsible AND about the birds and the bees.. all in one (money) shot.

Just put some coin in this bad boy and watch 2 pigs or 2 elephants (tough choice, I know) show you their animal excitment. If this happened at my bank I'd probably pick up a second job for the extra cash. Just sayin.

So if I've got this right... I just told my neice that she's not to give it up without any money. Thank me later big bro... Thank me later.

Let's Paint the Town... er, LED?

Like to mix your style with a little tech'ness and a whole lotta 'ready to party'? Well mission status? Accomplished! Now you can have your very own DIY pair of sneaks that let's you be the hit of the rave. Or get hit by a raver. I can't remember which. Either way, running from the cops or hiding your bladder problem at the movies is no longer an option for you. But being totally awesome and probably attracting bugs is definitely in your future! Nice!

Desperation Equals Funny: At Least Google Feels So

I've always said that this world was full of crazy people and here Google goes and proves me wrong. Touche Google. Touche.

Really? 883,000,000 results of "Why do I have no friends"... Besides not being a fan of Scooter Is The New Black.. the only other result we could think of was that you are actually asking a data warehouse this question.

I ran up to an ATM once and asked why I was so broke. It didn't spit out cash. I'm assuming the results are similar here. Well except you're not on camera and won't end up getting robbed for your pre-paid cell phone.


For the sake of thorough journalism I've decided to include a few of my favorites from this research.

* 286,000: I would like to extend you an invitation to the pants party (at Jason's house, in Jason's pants) (Really??! 286K results to Jason's pants?)

* 21,900,000: I have one more drink. (Sounds like a problem...)

* 1,060,000: Sex is for making babies and revenge. (That's true.)

* 3,290,000: Who do I have to be to make you sleep with me. (Let's start with your address... oh and a list of what meds you're on.. we'll go from there.)



Source: Gizmodo

This Is Exactly Why We Don't Do Dentists!

If you've caught the interweb phenomenom of little David leaving the dentist, than you may enjoy this. Thanks to the Upright Citizens Brigade and YouTube scientists we can now see lil David 20 years from now.


We feel your pain Davie boy... I've been it sayin it for years... They need to make a divorce attorney/anesthesiologist office. That will make it a whole hella lot easier to take the news that all your shit is gone.

My dad always said... "I lost the child custody battle... somehow I got the kids". USA USA USA!!

"Marco!".... "Keep It Down I'm Talkin To My Bookie"

"The Isophone is essentially a telecommunications device providing a service that can be described simply as a meeting of the telephone and the floatation tank. The user wears a helmet that blocks out all peripheral sensory distraction whilst keeping the head above the surface of the water… a space is created for providing a pure, distraction free environment for making a telephone call."

Now that's what I call a "hands free" device. I may need a bigger car but totally worth it!

Has the demand for swimming and party lines gone up and no one told me? I can get on board with that. Hmmm I wonder if a "breast stroke" costs 3.95 a minute from this thing too?!



*Update* Yes. Yes it does. Still worth it.



dvice.com

Like Time Through the Shreddy Thing... So Are the Days of Our... Nevermind

"The Chrono-Shredder is a device that reminds us of the preciousness of our lifetime. It represents the passing of time by shredding the days of the year – printed on a paper roll – at a slow constant rate. To shred one day takes 24 hours. There is no “off”-button. As the seconds pass by, the tattered remains of the past pile up under the device…

This asks, what people would do if there were given the ability to hibernate — and so, stop their natural ageing. Would they regard natural ageing as threat? Will they start counting their "awake" hours like they count calories today?"

Nope... can't see that annoying any of your coworkers. Lucky for you it's not sharp enough to feed you through... Sorry folks, you're still gonna have to use the old fashion wood chipper to cure your "alimony problems".

Is it me or is this product descrip a little heavy? We hibernate plenty here... What do you mean blacking out is NOT hibernating? I beg to differ but I'm too busy picking up piles of paper shit off the floor to argue about this. Thanks for nuthin!




susannahertrich.com

Chia's Vote For Change

At first I thought this was a little racist.. Then I remembered Chia broke down the race barrier years ago with a Mr T Chia pet. Boy am I embarrassed at my former assumption.

Not quite the 'stimulus' I was looking for... but at this point... I'll take it.


Can't live without one of these gems? How unfortunate for you. But luckily Amazon.com can meet your needs.

Playing This Guitar MAY Make You To Go Blind

"This started out as a Cort Stratocaster copy.

I bought it on-line. But when I took it apart it turned out the body was plywood. So I decided to have some fun. I made a new body out of Cherry wood, added some maple for a new headstock, made a new pickguard and... voila!

The wangcaster was on the Graham Norton TV show, in Great Britain, where he showed it to Bon Jovi, who said "wow, that guitar has balls!" - Gus Curran

Bands have been created for a number of reasons... True love of music, getting laid, maybe to fill up your Saturday night plans because you're not gettin invited to the big dance. Whatever it may be... the fine makers of the Wangcaster are here to undo all of your hard work.

I'm not sure I would have been as forthright as Gus about my vision of a playing with balls on stage. But hey... just leaves us the chance to make our Boobcaster.

*Boobcaster - patent pending"


Source: carverdoug.com/wang.html