Everything I Need To Know I Learned In Traffic Court

Some people say living life is a better education than a text book. My dad would disagree but for the sake of science we'll hear these people out.

I've found that one challenging situation can teach us tons. Let's take a day in traffic court for me and all of the things I learned the hard way.

1) Don't wink at the judge. He's already pissed that he's a traffic court judge. Now you're just patronizing him.

2) Do not refer to him as "Your Highness", "His Holiness" or giggle at "Your On Her". Oh and don't call the traffic cop "Sergeant Pepper". Trust me.

3) While waiting for your name to be called on the docket. Don't kill time by trying to start the wave.

4) When the guy before you gets taken into custody due to his 46th driving on suspended, don't jump up and yell "You can't handle the truth!"

5) And lastly when you're before the judge and he reduces your charges do not break into the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Ok grasshopers, go live long and prosper.