I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on fake tanning. Although, I will say that I am an expert on making fun of ridiculously uneven Dorito colored women.
It's getting to be that time of year where you have to get creative to maintain your bronze hue. I understand there's different routes to take, and in all honesty I couldn't care less about any of them. All I ask is that you try to shoot for the goal of looking human.
I'm pretty sure looking like someone just finished a bag of Cheetos, and used your face as a napkin, is not the look you were going for. Or feet that look like they belong to a corpse. Or that awful thing it does to make your hands look like you've been milking carrots. If you were any more orange Street King Midas would try to eat you. He loves carrots! No wait.. hookers... he loves hookers.
Photo: Mike Guastella, WireImage.com
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