"The Bullet-proof Handkerchief For the Promiscuous Idealist whom Lives in Elegant Danger"
The 21st century ninja dandy bullet-proof handkerchief made of Bullet-Proof Aramid is exclusively sold at Liborius. The store and designer take NO responsibility for schmucks and wooden-heads who feel compelled to test the endurance or resistance of the textile in any way."
Has someone put a hit out on your left nipple? Well fear no more. This stylish gentleman's hankie has just promised to protect your areola. (just the left one... sorry rightie.. you're on your own)
Who you callin a wooden-head??? Don't give me a 'bullet proof' product then call me names for testing it out. That's like giving me ice cream and calling me a 'dip shit' for tasting it. I have no self control. That's a fact.
Anyway, I think this is great. I'm definitely a 'Promiscuous Idealist" who's looking for "Elegant Danger". Between this and my shoes that squirt grease to trip up the bad guys, I'm closer to my life as James Bond. I just need a bond girl and a remote control Mercedes. Oh and triple A, he definitely had triple A.
Photo: srulirecht.com
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